Why does my dad have to be such a dick? I don't even have to open my mouth any more and he calls me names and bitches. He was on the computer all morning doing different things, and I was starting to get hungry so I came in and started to say something about him getting off so we can have lunch. and all I got out was "Hey, maybe you should get off so.." and he was all "I don't fucking care you bitch. Go do whatever the fuck you want to do and don't talk to me like that again." and I'm all thinking "Talk to you like what again? Maybe I shouldn't talk at all." But of course I say "Fine, Whatever." and storm off. Then he makes some more smart assed comments calling me a fucking bitch again and I get pissed and throw something at my door then go downstairs and sit on the porch, freezing my ass off, crying and watching it snow. Then Mom comes down and comes to the door and is all "You can go to your room now." in this bitchy little tone, and walks away. and I'm like "What the fuck did I do? Nothing." They're in the living room and I don't want them to see me crying so I slip up the back stairs and into my room. Well mom just called up to me and asked if I wanted some lunch and I said yeah. and Dad's all "How do you know she doesn't already have a lunch. She slipped up the back stairs like a fucking coward and all." and Now I'm crying again because WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? I really wish I knew, because then maybe it'd make some sort of a perverse sense, but I can't think of anything? Was I evil in another life?

I just went and wiped my tears, and I now full understand the meaning of the song The Tracks of My Tears.

The Day From Heaven

If Saturday was the day from hell, then today was the day from heaven. I slept in a little, had a fantastic Jensen dream. We got a call from out Auto insurance and they said they sent an appraiser out to look at the car. We also got a call from Raleigh with a guy who wants to offer Dad a job if he does good at the interview. So v. cool. Then Dad came home and called the service place and they said the guy checked out the car, and is voting for "totalled." So dad called the car dealership and talked to someone he knew and they're checking out their lots and finding a van for us and setting it aside (Dad and I are gonna go scope it out tomorrow) I'm starting to get over my van phobia from the fire. Then we went and got the salvagable stuff from the van, and I found that my brand new never used umbrella (with the pretty daisies on it) was in the van. It may be salvagable though. I'm gonna try washing it and airing it out. Everything freakin' REEKS. Vinyl stinks when it's burnt, but I think it's more the stuffing from the seat that has a stench. Vinyl also looks like the stuff you pull out of a cassette tape when melted. Anyways then we came home, more messages. From our realtor. All systems go so far for the sale! So if he gets financing the house is sold. So dad had to call the lawyers and talk to them. then we went and saw mom told her what was up. Got food because we were starving by then. Went back to the car because we forgot some stuff in it. Then came home. So compared to the last two days, today has been a lot better. Especially since Dad's boss gave him the a-okay to use the company van for a bit.

The Day From Hell

That's what today was. First I was up until 1am reading. I woke up between 8:30 and 9:00 this morning to go with dad to my aunt's house. So I eat a bowl of cereal and we go. On the way he tells me that the people who put an offer in on the house accepted our counter offer. So as long as they get financing the house is sold. So yay for that. We get there and he gets to work and I go in and help my aunt fix her computer (took me all of 3 minutes) then I look at her crafts she's doing. She's doing wine charms (they go on wine glasses or beer bottles even so you can tell which is yours) and selling them. So I sit and do a few because they're fun and easy and right up my alley. Then Dawn calls from across the road and asks if I can help her fix her computer. So I go over and help her the best I can (boy it was a mess, we ended up switching her to her laptop because the apple she has is pretty much shot.) While there her two grandson's come out, one's a few years younger than me and looks JUST like Mike Erwin (aka. Colin Hart from Everwood) I'm like "whoa." (So here's to you Mrs. Robinson...) So they go across to my aunts to help the guys fix her pump and then when I finish with Dawn's computer I go back over and I hang outside a minute, then I go inside and talk to my aunt then sit to do more wine charms, aunt has gone outside. Suddenly I hear what I swear sounds like "Tom(my dad's name)! Your car is on fire!" and I'm like "what?" and I hear my aunt like "WHAT? What's on fire? where?" and I'm like "Oh my god wait is the house on fire?" and I get up to put on my coat and boots as I hear my aunt on phone to 911 saying "Hi, I live on Pillar Point and we have a car on fire here." and I'm like "Oh my god the car!" and I dash to the window and look out and theres smoke rolling out of the car. The next 15 minutes to a half an hour are kind of a blur. I remember going in and out of the house watching and retreating and watching and retreating and sobbing and crying and being terrified and calling my mom and crying to her what's going on, and the fire people come and I cry in the kitchen and I declare there is no god, then I declare that maybe there is since no one was in the car. Then I remember being eerily calm and going and doing a wine charm and then going outside and the fire's out and the van is trashed and I remember embarassing myself over kites and I remember getting dirty and getting a headache from the stench of melted plastic and peeling paint. So then we get ready to go and dad says that Dawn's husband was going to give us a ride home. So he goes over and I grab my stuff from my aunts and join him, and then who should drive us home? The Mike Erwin look-a-like (His name was Ben) So I'm like trying to be okay in the back of the car... so bad. I'm trying to be okay. Then I break and am on the verge of tears and decide to just be quiet the rest of the way and I catch him glancing at me in the mirror which was kind of cool. But now we have no more van, all we have is my dinky little car which has issues sometimes.

Jeez, Dad is a pain in my butt. 1) Like, Saturday he said something about him and mom wanting to see that Salem Witch Trials movie. So I tape it because they also want to see Six Feet Under. Then tonight I remember the second half is on at 9 so we'd better watch it before then and dad's all "I don't want to see that. It's nothing I'm interested in." When here I could have watched it when it was originally on.

2) Actually.... I'm not so much mad at dad over this one. I'm more mad at the idiot doctor mom used to work with. Anyways the Cable guy came today to fix the line because my TV was all messed up. So he fixes it, and as he does the doctor calls, and I pass him off to dad to go to my room with the cable guy to make sure the TV worked. So cable guy leaves, and dad does the thing for the doctor which is total bullshit because we are not his fucking slaves. He's seriously wearing out his welcome. So then tonight Dad finds that everything from 100+ on digital cable is GONE. So he calls Time Warner, and now they're coming back tomorrow afternoon, so blah.

Grrrrrrr. Dad is such a pain.

1st of all, our "project for the week" is to clean out this file cabinet, not to mention the million other times he'll bug me about stuff on the computer and I can't stand being that close to him because he can't read to himself noooooooo he has to fucking say it outloud, all spitting and stinking and I hate him.

I asked him to please shut up and he told me that I better lose my attitude before he "puts me through that cabinet." Hi, can we say threat? Does this mean I am perfectly justified in inflicting pain on him? AND THEN he expects me to help him do shit. Like he can't go to the fucking store on his own. He's a fucking baby.

Then he's constantly talking about what he's going to do when we move and it's like "SHUT THE FUCK UP! I am so goddamned sick of hearing it." He's pissing me off. So then I found this supurb house with a in-law apartment and both mom and I are like "Ohhh yay!" and that I can live in the little apartment. And Dad's all. "No, I think I'm going to make the apartment an office, you can sleep in one of the other bedrooms." He doesn't want me to have ANYTHING. Well fuck him. As soon as I get on my feet I am so away from him it won't be funny and I never ever ever want to see that fucking bastard EVER again. He can die and rot in hell for all I care.

Wow. What a day. Tonight I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Tuck Everlasting. Both were good. Then tonight I was reaching for the phone and accidently knocked my sprite onto my mousepad. Eek. Dad was such a dork too. Because I used tissues to sop it up since it was all I had, and the tissues got all used up. So I went to get another box and Dad was like "you're taking the last one." and I was like "Oh well." and then I went to get it out of the closet and I was like "Are you sure, I could have sworn I put another one at the bottom." and he was like "one what?" and I was like "a box of tissues." and mom was like "We might have moved it up." and I was like "You must've." and he was like "Must've what?" and I was like "Moved it up." and he was like "moved what up?" and I was like "a box of tissues." Then after a minute I was like "I was getting ink when it fell on me so I put.." then I didn't get to finish my sentance because he screamed at me "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" and I yelled back "A BOX OF TISSUES FOR GODSAKE YOU IDIOT. Pay attention." and he told me to go the f upstairs because he couldn't hear the TV. And he calls ME deaf. What a moron.

I'd like to wish a very very Happy 25th Birthday to Jensen Ackles. I hope he has a supurb day. He very much deserves it. So a very happy birthday to him with lots of fun, and lots of love, and lots of partying.

On a totally unrelated note I have decided that Kirsten Storms is like, the hardest working actress in show buisness. She stars in Disney Channel's "Zenon" series of movies. As well as provides a voice for a character on their show "Kim Possible" not to mention numerous guest spots for their other shows (ie. "That's So Raven" which she was on last night causing this decision of mine.) And besides all of that hardwork she also stars in a soap opera, meaning that this girl is filming practically non-stop. I forget exactly which one she's on but I think it may be "Days of Our Life" or whatever. At any rate, she deserves major props!